During the time I've had to keep my Stylista win a secret, which was from April until last week, I could have entered into (and exited) a meaningful relationship, earned an online Masters degree, grown out my "toupee helmet" into something less pretentious, and come pretty darn close to bringing my first child to term.
Johanna and ELLE's editor-in-chief, Robbie Myers. (Photo: Courtesy of the CW Television Network)
In short, I have been waiting for the airing of last Wednesday's episode for a long, tortuous while.
Throughout this tight-lipped purgatory, both those whom I am close with and the occasional Whole Foods employee/CW viewer have approached me with the same singular question: “Was it worth it?"
Every time I tried to answer the question, knowing that within a year I would walk through the doors of ELLE as a junior editor, in my head I would think to myself, "Yes! Of course, YES!" However, fearing a reversal on my contract due to a breach of confidentiality, I instead relied on the “don't lie, but don't tell the truth” tactic that my father, the lawyer, taught me as child.
This approach, coupled with the fact that I had to return to the job I whined about insufferably on-camera, was enough to convince even my most ardent supports that I, too, would end my stint on reality TV with a blue box in hand and no new position.
But, as you saw, I avoided that fate and instead had the surreal honor of accepting, from editor-in-chief Robbie Myers, my first ELLE business card. Thinking nothing could trump that feeling, I then turned around to walk into my new office, only to look up and see my styled ELLE cover on those giant doors. Eve, reigning so beautifully, so regally in Alberta Ferretti and Moschino, helped to make that one of the proudest moments of my life.
Joe Zee, Anne Slowey, and Eve during the final episode. (Photo: Courtesy of The CW Television Network)
The transition into my post-secret life, short though it has been thus far, is going incredibly well. Not only have I resumed friendships with former castmates, crew members and the "impossibly chic" (to borrow Megan's turn of phrase) Anne, Joe, Malina and Brett, but I have also, in my own mind, come to fully grasp just how significant—and exciting!—a turn my life is about to take.
So, while I pack up my suitcases here in DC, folding high-neckline item after high-neckline item with Tracy Flick-like meticulousness, I want to take a moment to thank my family, for this victory is as much theirs as it is mine.
Happy Holidays!
—Johanna and her "structured ass"
credit to: ELLE.COM
